Switching gears a bit, Bon Appetit videos are back. Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. episodes free, on demand. © 2021 Well+Good LLC. “What are you doing today?” Ask this to your single friends who are isolating in order … It’s better to know that you’ve been feeling more anxious than usual before something sets you off into a full blown anxiety attack. How Are You Really Doing. James 1:5 If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. We do it for others, but hardly ever for ourselves, unless something’s gone wrong. I was doing fine until you asked that. You know the drill, walk past someone on the street, smile and ask, "how are you?" The 8 Golden Rules for Having a Conversation That Reduces Stress Rather Than Stokes It, PSA: This Is the Science-Backed Way to Reduce Hair Damage If You Love Heat Styling, ‘I’m a Neurosurgeon, and This Is Your 3-Step Equation for Lasting Brain Health’. When a friend asked if I was taking care of myself, I found it to be the sweetest way to check in. The answer you give when someone asks how you’re doing is usually an automatic, standard response. It starts by simply asking: “How are you really doing?” Most of the time you’ll find that someone is just happy that you cared enough to ask so they feel free to vent about their bad day — or bad month or year. Glad we agree. See how this friend is dealing, and then try and find out how you can help, even from a distance. While "pretty good," and "OK" are quick answers, experts say finding out how you're really doing will help in the long run. Because more often than not, we’re not really asking. Most people took pause because they genuinely didn’t know. Don’t worry, you’re not a bad person for falling under the “I don’t actually want to hear how your boss is the worst for the next five minutes” category. HOW ARE YOU DOING? Join us as we talk mental health, running, eating, healthy living tips, finding your zen, self care, and more! She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. 1. The only things that should be black and white are zebras and cookies. In response, friend A conforms with the present perfect progressive tense by saying, I’ve been doing well. You’ll hear this ALL the time! We have come to use this expression so often in all of the above situations that … Though almost certainly used in colloquial speech earlier, the salutation first appears in print in the 1940s and spreads in the 1970s.In the late 20th century, How you doing was popularly associated with New Yorkers of Italian descent—and pronounced more like how YOO dooin. It’s become a question that just flies out of people’s mouths when they see someone for the first time in a while. To me, growing up in the South, this is what a normal interaction looked like, but one day, I began to realize that if we really go beyond our mediocre how are yours, then we could really, truly, get to know not only strangers that we pass on the street but our closest friends as well. Take care. “These days, conversations can feel awkward because there’s this looming backdrop of how not normal our lives are now,” says relationship therapist Debra Roberts, LCSW, author of The Relationship Protocol: How to Talk, Defuse, and Build Healthier Relationships. remember where you want to be in 5 years, 10 years. Writing. Maybe this is someone wrapping up coursework for their master’s degree at home, despite having no graduation to walk in; or maybe it’s someone who can’t set WFH boundaries with themselves, let alone the kids they’re trying to homeschool. Much better now that you’re here with me. Before you talk about how your co-worker has an advantage over you… Before you start any of that whining and crying… Ask yourself… Are you REALLY doing your best at your job? NOW, TELL THE TRUTH, HOW ARE YOU REALLY DOING? Because really, what can you say? Making a purchase through our links may earn Well+Good a commission. 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